Hey Guys!!!!!

 

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted! Anyway, the transition to Uni life and independence has been great but also hard as was expected!

 

I have loads to share with you when I get back which isn't long now, I'll be home on the 18th! I'm really looking forward to it, I can't wait to hit the town with you all and share some more great times with you!

 

See you very soon, love from

 

Squibs, a new-found megavirgin!

 

- XXX -

Hey guys!!

 

So, this is it, my last day here, living in my own home, sleeping in my own bed and annoying all the family whose around to annoyed! It feels so weird to be leaving them all behind... Anyway, this is a quick post which I'm going to try to keep short to say that these past seven years, or eight with some, have been great and that you've all taught me so much about myself and life in general. I'm really going to miss those Englsih lessons and all those tests and timed essays we used to complain about so much!

 

I think that great things lie ahead for all of you and I'm sure that you're all going to do really well at Uni!!

 

Peace out and GOOD LUCK!!

 

Squibs xxxxx

I got my accomodation pack through today and I was slightly annoyed when I saw that I got my 8th choice! That and it's an all-girl hall.

 

I won't hide that my first reaction wasn't the best but then I found loads of advantages:

I was looking at a picture on holiday, until there nothing special. It was a family walking along the sea-front and they looked happy all together, but we all know that behind every photo there lies a story.

 

So here's the story:

 

The little boy is older than his sister. She's protected by her mother and father, smiling away between them with her hair in plaites. Her brother is stood next to his father, hands in his pockets with a handsome smile on his face. He's quite the young gentleman... At a first glance this is just another family enjoying the after-war period with its freedom and opportunities. Another picture among many others in an old family photo album. The photo holds many secrets though. Such as a strained relationship between mother and son, husband and wife and a younger sister who simply by living prevents her older brother from growing up...

 

The most striking thing about this picture though is that without the story to go with it, it's another picture of family love.

 

So last night two people left. It was both exciting and scary. Both Rachel and Cesca have moved on to new things which is really good for them but it also shows that things soon have to start changing for me too and that's something that I've always been apprehensive of. On the other hand though, I'm really looking forward to uni and I know that Cardiff is where I'm supposed to be.

 

Still, things have to change and I know it. I might as well look forward to it.

 

The main purpose of this posting though is to say that I'm really going to miss my girls. I mean I was at primary with Rachel and I remember her coming for lunch on a Friday, our sleepovers and mud pies. All the things that I've shared with you are very special to me and although we've sometimes crossed words and clashed I still think that you're a very special person. As for Cesca, well , let's see, I've seen her every day of my life for the past 7 years, well almost every day. Her leaving just seems very strange and it still hasn't sunk in yet... Still, I know that some very special things lay ahead for you and that a new chapter starts for us in the UK. I miss you already!!!

 

As for those of us who are still here, some good partying still lies ahead for us and I'm really looking forward to it!!

 

Ok, so I've been browsing the net and having a little listen and I have to admit that I LOVE THE NEW HILARY DUFF song! You might all think that I'm mad but it's really catchy and just reallly fun. It's got a really fresh sound and is completely different to her usual stuff, even though it's the smae style... Ok you know what that made no sense but check it out for yourself and let me know what you think!

 

Listen to Hilary's new song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bNNLuJxu98

So, the last few posts have been very depressing. Today nothing's happened but in an attempt to tell you about something in a more positive way I think that I'll make a list of all the good things which have happened to me recently:

 

I keep coming on here and not knowing how to express myself. I guess I could say I have writer's block, but then I'm not a writer and to say that would mean that the problem is only temporary, and that would be a lie...

 

I'm feeling annoyed because Uni hasn't started yet and I still haven't heared from Cardiff. I should be sending them forms now but I don't have my student number which is a problem... It also means that there's a chance that they could say no and that would mean changing everything... Thinking of this makes me think of Nat, I have no idea how she's dealing with this... I'm thinking of you.

 

I'm getting frustrated because people have started packing and they have a big summer trip, all mine fell down the drain. New York, London, Barcelona, tour of Italy, tour of Europe... All these things that I said I would do and I haven't, all because I couldn't get organised. Now I see all my friends going off and doing their thing while I sit at home and think of all the things that I could have done and haven't... I don't envy them, I'll take it as a learning experience, but the "summer of my life" will be pretty dull in a few years time when my kids ask me what I did when I left school...

 

I'll continue on a dull and fed up note: I have to re-do my driving test in a week too, that'll be fun; in the most boring possible way ever!! I don't see the point in it at all and I'll most probably fail it again, so what's the point? I have to go back and have more lessons, in the meantime though there are loads of idiots on the roads like the two loons who almost simultaneously made me have an accident today, and no it was NOT my fault, who can just go on and drive wherever they like! Stupid system!

 

So yeah, this has been the overall mood of the day and the past week, I'm not angry and I'm not annoyed at anyone in particular but think of it this way, I'm still stuck in the in-between zone I was in in June. I just can't shift from it and it's tiring...

We all know celebs, we see them in adverts, on posters, on the cover of magazines, advertising for magazines and on the adverts inside the magazines! Needless to say that when it comes to media, celebs are everywhere. The thing is though they have so much money and are in the public eye so much that they all seem to set trends. Fashion trends, musical trends or speech trends seem to be pretty much the norm: a new trends announces that a celeb has made it big time.

 

Recently however, I seem to have noticed that more and more celebs are adopting children from war zones and are setting up/supporting charities. Now before I start and the hate mail comes rolling in, I think that this is a really good thing because some charities need the publicity and celebs do show a good example in the sense that they can help charities be known and open our eyes to horros of the world that we never even knew were there or the scale of which we had ignored. I feel that everytime that I open a magazine nowadays, all celebs seem to be doing their bit for the world and trying to encourage us to do the same.

 

The thing is though, we don't have the same monetary funds to do this on the same scale as them and therefore many people feel inadequate when they start helping charities. I mean what can you do apart from support a charity monetarily and occasionally help out at an event? Also, most celebs get huge public recognition for their actions in favour of charities, but the ones who give most support to charities are us, the normal, regular, out-of-the-spotlight people.

 

I'm not ranting because I feel that there should be a war between us and celebs for "who funds and helps humanity the most", I simply feel that when it comes to choosing a charity too many of us are influenced by the choices of our fave celebs. We know that Jessica Simpson supports "Operation smile", that Britney Spears has her own charity the "Britney Spears Foundation", that George Clooney supports the defence of civilian safety in Darfur, that Angelina jolie supports orphans in the Asia-Pacific and worldwide etc.... However, I feel that too many charities get left out and that today there is competition between them to get a celeb to represent and fund them. THIS is what I'm off-colour about because it's so unfair! Some charities and social issues are scrapped from the map and our minds because their publicity is less effective than celebs' attention which catch the public eye and cause us to feel as though we should be helping "because if Richard Gere thinks that Tibetan exiles have a cause that needs defending, well then so do I!" (I'm not snubbing this at all, the Tibetan cause is a vastly spoken subject in my home to a brother who is passionate about Asia). Mental Illnesses, Handicaps, Natural disasters, Poverty in western urban cities all of these issues are wide-spread and hard to live with, yet no-one seems to mention them. I'm moaning about the fact that supporting a charity seems to have become a fashion trend and that now they seem to have to compete for the funding which enables them to act and help those who need it, that's what the problem is, not the media attention celebs are given...

Ok, I've been home about two days now and I'm already annoyed!!

 

I had a driving lesson today, so far so good. Now I'm not very good at driving, I don't really like it and have real difficulties with it so needless to say that it wasn't going to be the best experience. Anyway, I get there in a good mood thinking that it's only two hours and that the whole thing is just something that I have to do. I get in the car and the guy takes one look at my picture and says: "Oh, well I hope that you're going to change it, your boyfriend won't like it! You could at least have closed your mouth." Ok, so this is a picture that was taken in Seconde and on which I have braces, bad skin (worse than now anyway) and bad hair, so it's not the most flattering one but I know it. I honestly didn't need to be told that but anyway, I sit there and think that it doesn't matter and just get on with it.

 

We've been gone for about an hour then we have to park. Not a problem, that it something that I know I can do in my Passat Estate so that was no problem. We open the bonnet of the car and he says: "Right, where do you check the oil?" Basic and important question I know but I was in a stupid little Modus thing and the engine is different. I look at it and think "it must be that thing there but I'm not sure", I'm treating this thing like an exam so I just say "I don't know" instead of risking getting it wrong. Big mistake! He looked at me like a total idiot and was like "You know what, you have a lot of work to do". If he'd asked me on my car it wouldn't have been a problem, I can check the oil levels there and everything else with my eyes shut. Ok, maybe not with my eyes shut but you get the general idea. We get back in the car and he asks me if I've started studying for the exam, for which I don't have a date in passing note, and I tell him no. At that he questions why not and I start explaining, only for him to roll his eyes and look exasparated. That was not encouraging...

 

When we got abck to the driving school he asked me about my exams and I told about the mention and all, only for him to say: "Well, everyone got a mention this year"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! I was so pissed off, all the guy did was criticise the whole damn time and it's really not very encouraging. I mean had the remarks been only about my driving it would have been ok, I would have been pissed off and all but not that bothered, but that fact they were about my marks and how I look... I just really didn't appreciate that at all. On the other hand though, the look on his face when I told him that I was going to Cardiff to study Maths was priceless.

 

So there we have it, how to wind me up and get me majorly pissed off in just two hours.

 

Wow, it's so good to be home!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There has been a world cup, we all know it. England was knocked out by Portugal and C.Ronaldo's reputation is ruined, THAT is something we all know. France got to the final but lost, we all know that too; but the strange and wonderful thing is the unexpected attitude which they've been welcomed home with.

 

Don't get me wrong, I thought that France deserved to win, and when you hear about the reason why Zidane got his red card you can't help but think that they deserved the cup even more. I mean, not only did they dominate the whole of the second half and all the extra time but that card was just too much, that's not the point of the posting though, and I know that most of you would argue with me.

 

What I'm really on about is the surprise that I had when I saw on TV after the match that every single person who was interviewed was congratulating the French team. Having lived here all my life I have seen that doing your best is not always enough and that people tend to only be more than happy to line up and tell you how crap you are after you've fallen on your face and are deeply disappointed. This time though, the team had surprised everyone so much that all they could do was admire them all, and this is a great surprise to me because it shows all of us that doing your best and keeping your head down is often just enough to win all the admiration and respect you could possibly want...

 

 

Ok, so the exams are over, we're all happy and should be relaxed.... Only I'm not, I'm all restless and annoyed. I wanna yell at everyone and hit and scream and shout at them, and no, it's not PMS.

 

See the thing is, now I have all this free time and I'm not using it and I dunno what's expected of me. I feel weird, like I'm caught between two places and I can't get free.... This is really wierd, it's as though everything is falling apart and I can't grasp at anything, but I know that everything is still the same and that nothing has started to change yet, it's just a really weird feeling.

 

Basically I think that I'm just being silly but then that gets me mad and makes me wanna shout at people too.... hmmmm, so if I shout at anyone in the next week, I don't mean to unless you've really annoyed me or have seriously asked for it, but either way just don't take any notice! I'm gonn have to start doing more Sport, I seriously think that this is the answer to all my frustration and bottled up energy!!